Day 4 of Summer Season: July 18th, 10.30-11.15am
The matrix took place via Zoom
The first dream – needing to put things away, with too small a space for everything to fit. The dreamer started to pull out a deep intense blue material, assuming it was a rain jacket. But the material wouldn’t end, it kept coming and coming. Feeling anxious and burdened, the dreamer didn’t know what the material was and if it would come to an end.
In the second dream, the dreamer was busy getting ready for a business meeting, packing a briefcase. Their senior manager told them to go to the fourth floor, but they wanted to go to the fifth. With a train ticket they didn’t need, the dreamer took the lift with a colleague, and walked in lanes between houses with weeds, the pathway complicated and intricate. The dream ends with them pouring water in a kettle, when a huge tongue flops out. And they know they should have got out on floor five.
The first association linked the cut-off, disembodied tongue to the relationship between words.
The second association, to the first dream, was also the third dream – the dreamer sorting out the contents of a fridge that belonged to their housemates. They can’t make room for everything and are anxious that their flatmates will have no room for their food and will then take that out on the dreamer. The third association around certain things being swallowed and not said, a fourth to dynamics with a colleague who is in telling mode, and the question arises, ‘do I say what I need to say?’
Further associations were around the creativity and ideas generated when a Zoom call was limited to 40 minutes. A link between the never-ending blue material and the impossibility of knowing where ideas end. A reminder that in the curatorial space ideas were pouring in as the session ended – cut off by time.
A trilogy of short dreams was shared. The first, a classic dream, in a tunnel, everywhere dark, the dreamer is on maybe a train, going so fast, for so long, doesn’t know what will happen and it ends without anything happening. The next dream, pushing a bicycle with difficulty – the dreamer is by the canal, probably Amsterdam. The back wheel is rotting, they are worried. As the dreamer reaches a bridge, they realise it is Paris, and now the front wheel is rusted. The final dream in the trilogy is in an elevator. As the door closes, an old friend steps in, with a ladybug in their hand, called a Zucchini. As the dream ends, the dreamer turns and is surprised to recognise another man in the lift, an old friend named Zucchini.
A further 5 associations followed – around no stability, movement, decay, something is less tidy or tidier, not just OK. The mess is accumulating and it is not tidied up yet, it’s a continuing process. Other associations build on this – unfinished processes with gender dynamics and #BlackLivesMatters, the work the group is doing with film and the reference to film archiving as managed decay. Questions arose around enough time, enough space for feelings, or are there different questions altogether?
The final dream had the dreamer’s mother who lives in a care home, in an additional space to the home – open and communal, like the Barbican. The mother insisted on staying here and not going back to the care home space. She was surrounded by people and happy.
Final associations spoke of the work with Bongsu and the idea of working with a birdcage – relating to space, power, freedom, not-freedom, joy, not-joy; how comfortable many people have become with being in the home environment. Where will this lead? Links to working in the virtual world and the interface of Zoom, needing to free up space, closing screens to improve performance; a memory of walking barefoot on a beach, feet in water and sand, for hours alone; resisting the temptation to push beyond what is healthy, taking things with greater ease, exercising choice.
In the review, the richness and flow of dreams was noticed, the links to where we are in the process of Deepening Creative Practice, lots of movement and travel, lots of imagery being generated, not knowing where it will lead. In writing this note, I’m also drawn to the concept of radical authorisation. In this co-curatorial process, we have faced some constraints and challenges with the timetable, encountered the politics of generating ideas and seeding them. The reeds and the mud have returned as a metaphor. I wonder what freedoms we will discover in working with the constraints and challenges ahead, continuing the process of play and experimentation in design and production.